Answers from the English abyss (Originally posted June 25, 2011)

I'll be putting up one final post about China and my thoughts on my experience there, once I get said thoughts gathered. Unfortunately the internet in Nanjing was simply atrocious the past few months and it's been impossible for me to update.

In the mean time, enjoy the following: I asked my students to write about where they want to go and where they don't want to go, and why. Some selections for you, the ones with stars being ones I picked as 'the best' for a prize:

I want to go to Greenland. Because I can ski and go ice-skating. I don't want to go to Libya. Because they are fighting.

I want to go to Turkey. Because the money is cheap. I don't want to go to Korea. Because the sushi is too hot. I don't like hot food.

I want to go to England. Because there is a beautiful castle and horse guard. I don't want to go to Ireland. Because it is very green. (I don't like green.)

*I want to go to Japan. Because I want to help many earthquake people.

I want to go to Ireland. Because it is very beautiful. Because it is very good. Because it is very small. Because it is very new. I don't want to go to Russia. Because it is very hot.

*I want to go to the USA because the USA has a big Disney playground. Because Obama is handsome, because I want to see a basketball game.

*I don't want to go to the girl toilet because I am a boy.

*I want to go to Brazil because the grass is green and I can play soccer. I don't want to go to the North Pole because it's cold.

I don't want to go to Japan because they are our enemy.

*I want to go to Holland because they have many cheeses and I like cheese.

I don't want to go to America because there are tornadoes.

I want to go to America because that's where Transformers 3 is.

pictures from the English abyss (Originally posted April 11, 2011)

One of the interesting things about teaching any language is when you start to notice the little things like letters, punctuation and syntax that can change a sentence drastically. Usually if it's a pretty hilarious mistake I take the time to correct the sentence, but an additional high-five is given to the student at the very least. 3rd graders are at that perfect age where they don't have any inhibitions--for the most part--about trying even if it means they might be wrong. That at least should be rewarded.

But now I know why my Japanese professors got such a kick out of correcting our papers and tests...









And sometimes, it's not really a mistake in any sense of the word. But things that sound great in one language give pause when translated directly;




This last one is grammatically correct; I just like the thought of Tigger giving Eyore a John Wayne-style haymaker.

tales from the English abyss (Originally posted March 25, 2011)

One of the things I do in my class is pretty standard; hold up a flash card with the Chinese word for something, then ask a student to give me the English word. Fairly simple, right? So I hold up the flash card for 海滩, which is 'beach'.


Me: What does this say in English?

Student: I know!!

Me: Yes?

Student: 'Asscrack.'

Me: ...

Student: Ass-crack.

Me: What.

Student: Ass. Crack.

Me: What.

Chinese teacher: *explains something to the student in hasty Chinese*

Student: Oh. Beach. 海滩 means 'beach'.

Me: ....yes, good job.




Desk, meet forehead.

English delights (Originally posted Dec. 09, 2010)

Some pictures of delicious culinary delights found while out and about with friends Casey and Janie:





The tribute band is just not as good as the original Side Dishes, but it's nice to relive the 80s for a night.




To be fair, this one is actually translated correctly from the Chinese characters to English. Which makes me wonder what the hell I ate.




It actually tasted a lot like Starbucks house blend.




I'm not quite sure where to start with this one.

an A+ day (Originally posted Nov. 26, 2010)

Teacher: Okay, class. Who can write 'cat' in English?

Student A: I can!

Teacher: Great, good job. Who can write 'cat' in Chinese?

Student B: I can, teacher!

Teacher: Okay, please show us.



Teacher: ...brilliant, A+.