So! When you move to China, chances are you have to pass a physical exam once you get there to prove that you’re healthy enough to be allowed to reside and work in the country. (China actually used to not let anyone with AIDS in the country, but I’m 70% sure they’ve dropped that rule as of the Beijing Olympics, but don’t quote me on it.) And, if you’re a westerner, chances are probably pretty good you’re a bit nervous about going to a Chinese travel clinic to be poked and prodded because you have no idea what to expect.
Well, here’s what you can expect.*
1. A crowd large enough to rival the local DMV’s.
A lot of people from all over the world are coming to China these days. If you go on a Wednesday or something, maybe you’ll get lucky and just sail right through the whole process. Otherwise, expect a wait; it might be a good idea to take a half or full day off work when you go. The nice thing about the crowd, though, is that it’s all foreigners like you and people are pretty nice and just as confused as you are. Swap stories in the x-ray line, practice your Spanish while waiting for an ECG… I actually felt pretty comfortable the whole time and chatted up a few Germans and expats from Ghana. Most conversations go something like this:
“So, where are you from?”
“America. You?”
“Australia.”
“Nice.”
“Yeah.”
A pause.
“So… This place is pretty crazy, isn’t it?”
“Sometimes, mate, I’m not even sure I’m on planet Earth any longer.”
2. A distinct lack of pens.
So bring your own to fill out the forms. Also bring two passport sized photos and your passport; if you don’t know what to write down on the form, leave it blank and someone will correct you sooner or later anyway. The form is about two pages of the standard birthday, passport number, etc and a checklist of all the diseases you have. Oh, and pregnancy. Males marking down ‘yes’ for this does not amuse the people at the front desk.
3. X ray and blood test.
They take like…. Hardly any blood, maybe enough to fill a shot glass. (Yes, I measure liquids in shot glasses because I’m American and never learned metric; sue me.) Of course they use new needles on you and swab your arm down beforehand; this isn’t Nurse Jackie or anything. However, at the x-ray if you want a lead belt to protect your stomach--as the doctors only want to check your lungs--you have to ask for one. You’ll get a lead belt and a roll of the eyes, but there you have it. Wussies.
4. The rest of the forms…
…are filled out in little offices. There is a dental section, where they poke inside your mouth for all of ten seconds to see if you’re harboring any unicorns or leprechauns or something because they sure as hell didn’t check me for cavities of all things. Then you have to pass an eye exam--the standard chart, plus the color blindness circles. I had contacts in and they didn’t make me take them out. Then you get an ECG, and yes ladies you have to take your top off behind closed doors. The nurse couldn’t care less for she has seen so many boobs her eyes have taken on a dead stare. For the ultrasound you just lift up your shirt to expose your stomach, but they usually shut the door for women anyway. Guys may be ogled at by passerby, just a heads up. And then finally there’s a weight and height check, the standard stuff, plus blood pressure and all that jazz. Then you’re free to go!
The whole thing is as emotionless as you would expect from any doctor visit, just a little more walking from station to station. And more lines, though some of them moved pretty fast for me. The ECG takes the longest, so keep an eye on that line--if you have a choice of where to go next--and avoid it while it’s long. If you get confused as to what needs filled out, just look at the form and match the Chinese characters to the ones on the door. It’s like a scavenger hunt, but there’s no raffle prize at the end, sadly.
Some afterthoughts:
+ I don’t think kids are subject to these tests; I played my DS with a girl from Columbia while her dad had his eyes checked, and she said she didn’t have to get anything done so far.
+ My employer told me not to eat breakfast before I went, but that seemed, well, dumb and I’m a grouchy ass if I don’t eat so… I had breakfast and everything was fine. Frankly I’d have thought you SHOULD eat so you don’t pass out…? Whatever.
*My experience was in Nanjing in 2010, so your mileage may vary depending on where and when you go to take your physical.
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